梅利莎·内维利斯
MelissaNevels
ThesummerIturnedfourteenwewere，mymotherandI，livinginCorusChristi，Texas.WerentedthislittleaartmentonNorthBeachinJune1981.Justafewdaysafterwemovedin，ImetthisgirlnamedGinawholivedwithsomeeoleinahousebehindus.Isay“eole，”
becausetheywereintosomestuffIhadverylittleknowledgeof，inmyinnocence.TheyoccasionallyhadaJamaicanguestwhowouldcomein，stayafewdays，thenleave.IrealizedsomeyearslaterthesignificanceoftheJamaicanvisitor.IdidntknowmuchabouttheseeoleGinalivedwith，anddidntgettoknowthemtoowell.Therewerealwaysalotofadultsthathungaround，buttheyusuallywereinthefrontartofthehousewherethemusicwas，andleftustoourownentertainment.
Ginalivedwiththeseeolebecause，Iguessyoucouldsay，shewashomeless.Inasense，shewasaboutayearandahalfyoungerthanme.Veryretty，beautifulsmile，rettyblondhairandbiggreeneyes.Butatthirteen，sheknewfarmoreaboutthestreetsthansheshouldhave.Shedidntknowwhoherfatherwas，andhermotherwasadrunk.Shehadanoldersisterwhowasmarriedtoamaninthenavy，andlivedinConnecticut.NobodywantedGina，excetme.Ilovedherlikeasister.
Inthebeginning，webristledateachotherontheschoolbus.Ginawasatoughkid，andIguessasadefensemechanism，shealwaysutonthattough-kidarmorwhennecessary.Afteraweekorsoofschool，westartedtalking.Andsinceshewastheonlykidintheareaofmyage，wereallykindoffellintogether.Myfolksweredivorcedandbarelysokeunlesstheyhadto.Idjustmoved600milesfromtheonlyhomeIdeverknowninMississiiandIwashomesick，andshehadnorealhome.Oncewerealizedwebothhadwoundstolick，itclicked，andwebecameinsearable.Shewasagradebeneathme，sowehadnoclassestogether.Butassoonaswedboardtheschoolbusintheafternoonuntilitwastimeforbed，weweretogether.
Welivedonthebeach.Itwasafive-minutewalkfromwherewelived，justamatterofcrossingtheroad.Ifitwaswarm，Idgetoffthebusandhurriedlydomychoresthathadtobefinishedbeforemymomgothomefromwork.Thenquicklygetintomybathingsuit.Wedmeetuwithourtowelsandsmokesandheadforthesand.IdjuststartedsmokingwhenImetGina.Shesmoked，notsurrisingly，andwhenIwaswithher，Ididntthinkaboutwhatmymomwoulddoifshefoundout.Inaway，IguessIwantedtoemulateherfreesirit.ItwasntyearslaterthatIrealizedtheintensesadnessshemusthavefelt.
Aboutmidwayintotheschoolyear，GinassisteraskedhertocomeandlivewiththeminConnecticut.Ineverunderstoodwhyittookhersolongtoask.SheknewGinascircumstancesandwhereshewasliving.Ginasmomstayeddrunkallthetime，andIthinktheyhadabigfailingout，andGinalefthome.Thatswhenshecametolivebehindme.Hermomdidntwanther，atleastthatswhatGinasaid.
SoGinaleftme.Iwasheartbroken.Butatthesametime，Iwassohaythatshewasgoingtobewithhersister.Ithoughtthatifshewaswithfamily，shedbeOK.Wewroteeachotherlettersatleasttwiceaweek，butfourmonthslatershecameback.IgotseveralstoriesfromGinaastowhyitdidntworkout.Ihavemyowntheories.
Timewenton，theschoolyearwascomingtoaclose，andmy15thbirthdaywasjustaroundthecorner.MymomandImovedtoTaft.Ginastayedbehindwithyetanotherersonsomewhereincorus，butwewroteletters，andketintouch.Taftwasonly18milesaway.Afterwewerethereabout6months，Ginawasagainwithoutalacetolive，andthenunswerelookingforsomebodytotakehersoshewouldntbelacedinafosterhome.ThestoryIgotisGinastartedhavingathingwiththeladys（thatshelivedwith）19-year-oldson.Ginawasjustfourteenatthetime，andsheaskedGinatomove.Actually，shesawthisguyoffandonforawhile.Ginawasloose.Shewasdeseratelylookingforsomebodytoloveherintheonlywaysheknewhow.Anditcosther.
Sowebecameherfosterfamily，ofsorts.Iwasworried.MymomandIwerelivingsoskimilyasitwas.Webarelyhadmoneytoaythebills，andacouleoftimeswehadourelectricityturnedofffornonayment.Iwasworriedabouthavinganotherersontofeed.ButIlovedher，andmymomfeltsorryforher.ShecouldseealittleofherselfinGinatoo.Wehadsomuchfun!Webothsoonhadsteadydates，andwewentouttogethereveryweekend.Weevenlayedhookytogether，evengotcaughtonce，wasutindetentionforawholeday，andwemissedhavingourschoolicturestakenthatday.Intheschoolyearbook，forthatyear，wheremyictureshouldbe，theresalittlecharactermanwithabarrelaroundhismiddleandasignonitthatsays:“hotonotavailable.”
Actually，IbelieveitwasoneofthefactorsthatstartedthebeginningoftheendtoGinasstaywithus.Ithinkmymomwasafraidshed“ruboffonme”
.ImamomnowandIcanbetterunderstand.
Ginawaswild，andyoucantcageawildanimalforlong.Shewaswithusabouteightmonths.Irememberitwaswinteragain.Moneywastight，andfoodwasscarce.Ginalikedthewildlife.Mymomdidntallowthetyeoflife，forateenagegirl，thatshewasusedto.SoGinacalledsomeoneelsesheknew，andmadearrangementstoleaveus.
Irememberthenightsheleft.ItwasthelasttimeIeversawher.Wedsharedaroomforsomanymonths，anditwassoemtyaftersheleft.Imissedherterribly.Irememberheruttingherstuffintothebackofawhitecar.Illneverforgetwatchinghershuttheliddown，andturnedtomewithasmileandsaying，“Well，thisisit，Iguess.”
Irelied“Yeah...youtakecareofyourself.Dontdrinkandsmoketoomuch.”
Welaughedandhugged.Shesaid，“Seakforyourself!”
Thenwecried.ShedbeenmybestfriendforthebetterartoftwoyearsandIknew，somethinginsidemeknew，thatIwouldneverseeheragain.
Ididntgetmanylettersthistime.Justonefromthelaceshewenttofromours.Thenabouttwoyearslater，Igotaletterfromher，andshewasinMissouri.Shedhadababy，byamarriedman.“Buthelovesme，”
shewrote.Ifeltverysad，andwonderedifshedeverreallyfindwhatshesodeseratelywanted.Orwhatshethoughtshewanted，butnotnecessarilywhatsheneeded.
Ineverheardfromheragain，afterthesecondletter.Iwroteback，butnevergotaresonse.TothisdayIdontknowwhathaenedtoher，ifshesalive，orwheresheis.Whensheleft，shetookartofmewithher.Webecameliketwins，andwhenshewasgone，IfeltlikeIdlostsomethinginsideme.Somethingdee，sirit-like.Shewassofulloflife，anddidntdwellonhersituation，atleastnotoutwardly.Andwewereclose，wesharedeverything.
Istillthinkofheroften，afteralltheseyears.Twoyounggirlsreachingwomanhoodondifferentaths.Yeteachathisfamiliartotheother.Shestillhastheabilitytomakemesmile，andareciateallthatIhaveandallthatIa
在我14岁的那年夏天，母亲带着我住在得克萨斯州的科珀斯克里斯蒂港。
1981年6月，我们在北海滩租下了这套小公寓。
搬进去没几天，我遇到了一个叫金纳的女孩，她与其他一些人住在我家公寓后面的房子里。
我之所以称那些人为“其他人”
，是因为天真的我对他们的了解少得可怜。
有时候，一些牙买加人会去拜访那些人，他们在那所房子里住几天，然后就离开了。
几年后，我才了解了牙买加人的重要地位。
对于与金纳一起住的人，我了解得不太多，后来也没有兴趣去了解。
许多成年人经常会聚在那所房子的附近，不过他们只是在那所房子门外的前面，那里有音乐，我们这些孩子则自由地玩耍。
金纳比我小一岁半，我想，人们会说，她是因为在某种意义上无家可归，才与这些人住在一起的。
金纳是一个长相漂亮的女孩，有着美丽的笑容、漂亮的金发和蓝色的眼睛。
虽然才13岁，可是她对街道的熟悉程度已经超出了同龄孩子。
金纳不知道她的父亲是谁，她的母亲是一个酒鬼。
金纳有一个姐姐住在康涅狄格州，姐姐的丈夫是一个海员。
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